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Don’t Get Played: How to Stop Cherry-Picking in Negotiations

Negotiations should be a fair exchange, not a game of pick-and-choose. Cherry-picking, where someone grabs only the good stuff and leaves you with the scraps, is a tactic that can sabotage a deal and damage relationships. Here’s how to spot it and keep things fair.


This tactic involves selectively agreeing to terms that benefit the other party, while ignoring or rejecting those that don’t.This creates an unbalanced deal that leaves you at a disadvantage.


  • One-Sided Agreement: The other party readily accepts terms that benefit them but pushes back on (or ignores) anything less favorable.
  • Benefits Tilt: The deal becomes lopsided, with the cherry-picker gaining significantly more than you.
  • Broken Trust: Repeated cherry-picking can erode trust and damage your long-term relationship with the other party.

  1. Know Your Deal: Before negotiating, understand all terms – the good, the bad, and the ugly. This helps you identify potential cherry-picking attempts.
  2. Mutual Benefit Matters: Emphasize that a balanced agreement benefits everyone. Don’t be afraid to call out cherry-picking and insist on fairness.
  3. Hold Your Ground: Be prepared to push back on attempts to pick only favorable terms. Be clear about what’s negotiable and what’s not.
  4. Set Boundaries: Don’t let the other party think they can cherry-pick with impunity. Define clear boundaries to guide the negotiation.
  5. Know Your Priorities: Identify your must-have terms and the ones you can be flexible on. This allows you to counter cherry-picking with strategic concessions that still meet your needs.
  6. Use “If-Then” Language: Make accepting favorable terms conditional on the acceptance of your less-favorable ones. (“You want X? Then I need Y in return.”)
  7. Document Everything: Keep clear records of all discussed terms. This helps prevent misunderstandings and ensures everyone remembers the entire agreement.
  8. Mediation as an Option: If cherry-picking makes the negotiation lopsided, consider bringing in a neutral third party to mediate and promote balance.
  9. Walk Away When Needed: Don’t be afraid to walk away if the deal becomes too one-sided because of cherry-picking. This can sometimes encourage the other party to come back to the table with a fairer proposal.

By understanding cherry-picking and employing these strategies, you can ensure that negotiations are a fair exchange,fostering long-term positive relationships and mutually beneficial deals.

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